It has been far too long WORDS, I’m sorry for the neglect. Feel free to ignore me in retaliation for as long as you like. I won’t take it personal. I’d like to start this blog with a dialogue from one of my favorite movies. Two guys, just finish having a drink:-
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Hey, thanks for the beer.
- Yeah, man.
I should find a hotel.
-What?
What?
- A hotel?
Yeah.
- Just ask, man.
What are you talking about?
-Oh, God. Three pitchers of beer and you still can’t ask.
What?
-You called me because you needed a place to stay.
Oh, hey. No, no, no.
- Yes, you did. So just ask.
-Cut the foreplay and just ask, man.
Would… Would that be a problem?
-Is it a problem for you to ask?
Can I stay at your place?
- Yeah.
Thanks.
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I have currently been confronted with an issue of faith. A brother of mine recently told me he had decided to start praying for something I felt was impossible. Doing the good christian thing I said “well that’s gosh darn great, praise the lord”. Naturally my reaction in my head was “Are you crazy? Why don’t I just ask for a light saber and a giant squid monster and call it a day.”
Two things stood out to me in that statement. One, that he had decided to start, not that he had been praying about it. I don’t typically think about the things I pray for, while not considering ‘is this God’s will, and if it is why did it take me so long to ask in the first place?’ Have I considered I could be asking for a bird losing it’s wings when I ask for my own?
Secondly the fact that he was going to be petitioning something that should be considered nothing short of miraculous; good ol’ divine intervention. The faith I had as a child that would tell you in a heartbeat that God saved daniel from the lions, or turned water into wine has long been dead now, not because God is any less faithful, but I (think I) know too much. I blame the history channel on that; all their “could-the-exodus-actually-be-real” and “finally-the-mystery-of-that-one-miracle-in-the-bible-no-one-likes-to-talk-about-cause-it-confronts-scientific-thinking-revealedblahblahblah” shows. Fascinating as they may be, it sets my mind into a materialist corkscrew. I’m so distracted with the ‘hows’ that I overlook the ‘cans’ and ‘wills’. Maybe the reason I rationalize what to ask for and what to just suck up is because I think too much. I assume God’s just like me, rolling my eyes saying “ok, but I won’t be here to bail you out…..oh who am I kidding, of course I will” and getting the short end of the stick the whole time, like God’s strength or power (or even desire) arent enough to handle my little problems.
Behold the smartest termite in the world!
I’ll break this down:
If I as a christian believe in an omnipotent creator, one who (in theory) controls the tide, feeds the sparrow and sent a god-man to earth to pay my tab, why is it hard for me to ask for the impossible? Is my request less possible than creating the Leviathan or designing an immune system? Why would I hesitate to ask God to intervene in my family when He is the author of all that is good? My answer right now is faith. It was faith that drove Moses to lead the jews and jewettes into the wilderness. Would he have put off asking God for direction because he doubted his petition would be acquiesced? Doubt it.
I’m not sure this entirely makes sense, because it sounds like I want to not question anything. It’s more like I want to question everything, but there are some things that proof won’t make any more real for me. I will still question God’s promises to me and deny him the prayers He deserves and wants to answer until I have believe the things I ask for, in things unseen. Faith in miracles is faith in miracles. There’s only so much meddling God’s going to do without saying “ok look, I made a world, wrote a book, sent a son, made your parents chromosomes match up perfectly to make who you are, what more do you need? Just ask.”
Anyhow, that’s where I’m at, trying to muster up the strength and faith my brother has to pray for a miracle. Feeling like I’m due for one.
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND……..
~wrestleswithGod
CURRENTLY READING: Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton, LISTENING: Industry Giants by Superdrag, WATCHING: the Watchmen Motion Comics

5 Comments
wow…
it was good to hear… you have a way with words…In a way, I feel like that too… I once heard it sarcastically said that “God made man in his image, and we returned the favor”…
Memorizing the Word is the only way I really start to believe God for who he says he is… otherwise I end up thinking he’s gonna hold out, just like me…
sarah
great quote! I have a tendency to make God as petty as myself more often than either of us would like.
-that IS a good quote. So true.
Is it either-or for faith and reason? Here’s what I find about “a materialist corkscrew” in our thinking arsenal (in the war against ‘not knowing’), and that is that it just isn’t taken far enough.
Push it through, push the envelope in the thinking and you come to a place where even science recognizes the spiritual. You just have to push it to the edge of what man can know and be willing to be (sorry for overused term) something of a maverick in your thinking.
The trouble is we get stuck. We question the biblical account… but dare we, can we question the great monoliths of our time?
Push on through with your wrestlings.
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Oh, and I’d argue that history is not the place to start for reasoned questioning of faith, just because it is more art than science. History as we understand it is mostly construct. Not that things didn’t really happen, or that there isn’t really pattern and truth in the study of it…. but that it has so many missing pieces that it must become “art” to fill in the understanding and context. Besides the revisions fluctuating according to time and culture.
Which movie is that from? You, Me and Dupree comes to mind….
Is there a verse that says “You have not because you ask not?” Or was that Yoda? Anyway, that’s something that God has been whispering to me lately. Like, “The only thing preventing you from receiving is your own hesitation to ask boldly.”
Maybe God is just waiting to show us how much bigger he is than our thinking. Maybe he’s just waiting for us to grow the balls to step outside of our “if it’s your will” mentality. Maybe he’s just waiting for us to take a leap of faith and wrap our minds around the idea that he wants to work his miracles in extraordinary ways in our personal lives. Maybe he’s just waiting for us to take that first step and ask.
So, I’m really excited about your post and your wrestles that often line up with my own.
Very interesting take on history Ilona, never thought of it like that.
The dialogue is from Fight Club, Rachel.