The Classics

Usually about a classic, or much-read Bible story or concept.

My Brother, The Bike Mechanic

I’ve become somewhat of a gnostic lately. I don’t like it one bit.

Don’t get me wrong, I love reason. I love logic. I love science. I absolutely love reading and learning. As a kid, I used to read encyclopedias for fun. And now, I still find myself getting sucked into 45-minute Wikipedia binges.

But the adverse of that, my faith is strong. My faith is real. I have had some real, unexplainable-by-reason-or-logic experiences with the Most High. I have seen the Father work in ways in my life that just can’t be explained by conventional ideas or coincidence. And to me, that’s alright.

The balance has been off lately. I’ve been deconstructing my faith for no other reason than deconstructing it. I’ve been pursuing knowledge far above the equally as (if not more) important experience.

Through prayer and listening, I feel like God has shown me tons of grace for this deconstruction, but He has given me a better blueprint for it.

I’m calling it “constructive deconstruction.”

My brother Evan is a bike mechanic. A damn good one, at that. I was thinking the other day about how he learned so much about bikes and how they work. He learned about them the same way other boys learn about mechanics and electronics and things: taking them apart. Deconstruction, not for the sake of breaking something, but for the sake of learning more about it, and possibly even improving on it. What are the core parts? How do they function? What is their purpose? What can I remove without losing that function or purpose?

I’m sure you can see where I’m going here. We can strip our faith down to it’s very core, learn more about what we really believe, and maybe improve on it by adding a little logic and reason to it all.

What does every bike have? A frame, a chain, pedals, handlebars, a seat, and wheels. Other things such as multiple gears, brakes, reflectors, water bottle holders, and splash guards definitely are good things. They serve their purpose. But they aren’t necessary to the function of the bike, right?

As a Christian, I have my orthodoxy. I have my Apostles’ and Nicene creeds. I have the very core, functional things of my faith: a triune creator-God, authority of Scriptures, salvation by grace through the resurrection of Jesus, a promise of hope and peace for the future, a community of brothers and sisters to stand with—you get the point. I can add other theologies and doctrines and lifestyle choices and other things on top of this that are all good and purposeful, but not essential. Just like a bike, we always benefit from learning more about it’s function and removing the unneeded things, to make our ride as light and efficient as possible. Not saying it’s easy—you will know what I mean if you’ve ever taken a fixed-gear bike for a ride.

I’ll take the analogy one step farther, which is God, through his grace, meeting us where we are at. My brother has a room full of bike parts: frames, wheels, gears, handlebars, shocks, and the like. He can custom-build a multitude of bikes for any occasion, any terrain. If he is going to be riding in the mountains or in the woods, he’ll throw some extra gears on, use a stronger frame, and use fat, knobby tires. If he’s going to be tooling around the city, chances are he’ll have nothing but thin road tires and a single, fixed gear. The bike is different, but it still has the same core parts, and still serves the same purpose: riding. Some people need certain types of theology, certain types of doctrine, certain takes on the Gospel in order to really “get” it. Some people need nothing more than the basics. Some people need some bells and whistles to help them move forward. But at it’s core, there’s still only one unchanging Gospel. One Gospel that serves one purpose.

For me, adding knowledge helps me find the beauty in the Gospel. I am constantly learning. Learning new stuff about the history of the Bible, the historical Jesus, the different cultures that the scriptures were written in—sometimes taking it to the point of questioning some core elements of my faith. But when I step back and look at it, I think to myself: “I know that I still need that wheel. I know I still need those handlebars.” That’s what keeps me pressing on towards Jesus. I know that He is real, and I still believe in the core doctrines and purpose of this faith I hold so dearly.

Lately, the scale has been tipped too far in the knowledge direction. I don’t want to become a gnostic. I don’t want to make knowledge my god, I want knowledge to compliment my God.  Sometimes I just need to remember what’s important.

Sometimes I need to replace the inner-tube on the tire to keep it inflated.

Sometimes I need to grease the chain up to keep the ride smooth.

And I thank God everyday for keeping me on the bike.

By Collin | Also posted in Encouragement, Oh you know..., Struggling, Theology | Comments (2)

different lenses

My thoughts recently have been with the church, namely where we are and were we’ve been. So I thought it’d be a good idea to study some of what the bible said about it, so Acts 1 it is. I had always read this as the evangelism pep rally verse which is mostly due to how it was presented.

6So when they had come together, they were asking Him, saying, “Lord, is it at this time You are restoring the kingdom to Israel?” 7He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or epochs which the Father has fixed by His own authority; 8but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.”

The thing that popped out to me as I read it this time is the question before the verse 8 bomb. “is it at this time you are restoring the kingdom to Israel”. They were asking a very specific question regarding their own desires, probably to be out from the rule of the Romans. Jesus comes back and says ‘none of your business guys, BUT you’re going to be a part of this restoration you asked about through the power the Holy Spirit and the world will see it’.

With new perspective comes new understanding.

I see this as less of a ‘go, tell everyone you know about Jesus’ and more of an invitation and foretelling of the world they were about to change by ushering in the Kingdom of heaven to earth, not the other way around. In our culture there seems to be a lot of emphasis on spreading the good news to get people to heaven while leaving the earth in a trash heap which I obviously think is the infection of our society on the Gospel. That’s not to say that we are not to evangelize, but as the last thing Jesus said on earth I think it’s important to realize we are part of His kingdom and our world just happens to be the playing field. We are to be witnesses, but through the different lenses.

~Israel

By wrestleswithGod | Also posted in Encouragement, Theology | Comments (1)

Grace, Forgiveness, and Kanye West?

Like everyone, Monday morning I was watching a video of my beloved Kanye West, storming the stage of Taylor Swift’s VMA acceptance speech. I am a fan of Kanye West, I love his music and music that he has produced. In the past I have seen him pull stunts like this, apologize, and then do something equally as stupid, which I have always just written off as rockstar bullshit. I’m not the kind of person that lets a rockstar’s persona ruin their music. Most of the time I just understand that it’s a necessary evil.

But Monday, I was filled with disgust. “Man, he really crossed the line this time,” I said to myself, “what a 3rd grader.” Obama may have said it best—what a jackass.

Of course he apologized in all-caps on his blog. Of course I didn’t really believe it. Oh well. Until next time, Kanye. Later that night, I saw him on the new Jay Leno show. I saw the shameful look in his eye as Jay probed him on his thought process, and worse, what his mom would have thought if she had still been alive. Instantly I was filled with…compassion? Compassion for this 3rd grader? Grace for this jackass?

“I’ll take that,” I found myself saying aloud to my wife.

God’s grace just dawned on me. For the 23,543,589,432th time. I couldn’t stop thinking about it the entire next day. I tend to forget about this kind of grace. This kind of grace that knows that someone will probably screw up again, probably apologize again, and repeat the whole process. This kind of grace that knows that the slate is wiped clean every time. Who’s to say that, just because Kanye West is a multi-millionaire rockstar producer, he is incapable of experiencing grace and forgiveness from not only me, but from the Father as well? I’m hoping this time Kanye sees it and runs after it. Even if he doesn’t, it’ll still be there next time.

I know this all seems kind of silly and over-played, but it’s just something I’ve been reflecting on the last couple of days. It’s nice to be reminded of the simple things that got me here in the first place.

By Collin | Also posted in Culture | Comments (3)

One Final Thought on Worship

Gave my last talk on worship yesterday morning, and I have to say, that it must have been ALL GOD, because I was not ready, or feeling it. But God really moved. Here are my initial thoughts that were the basis of the little talk. Warning: this one is a jumbled mess. I can’t believe it actually came together when I got on stage.

Thoughts, Week 5

I find that it’s easy to really over-theologize worship. I have been talking about all these different facets of worship—sitting in God’s presence, expectation, obedience, one-ness—which are definitely all valid, but sometimes we need to just get down to the basics. Worship is definitely all these things. Worship is more than all these things as well. I could probably talk for weeks about all the different parts and effects of worship. But what is worship—real worship—at it’s core?

It’s worshipping God.

Sounds condescending to say it like that, but that’s really what it is. Its beholding God’s glory, exalting his name, magnifying who he is above all. It’s boldly declaring who God is. It’s laying down all the things we make God into, and all of the other theological stuff, and really just declaring what we know about God.

It’s declaring to God that we know He is our refuge. That He is sovereign. That He knows what He is doing. That we put our lives, and our wills in His hands. It’s taking ourselves out of the equation, and making sure that we put God on the throne. Recognizing our place in the hierarchy. This truth-speaking not only builts our faith, but ushers in a complete transformation of our hearts and minds. In God-centered worship (which is what it should ALWAYS be, shouldn’t it?), we stop focusing on ourselves, what song we are singing, what prayer we are praying, whatever we are doing and just put ALL the focus on God. And in doing that, we are dying to ourselves. We are letting God transform us into His people. We are no longer being conformed to the pattern of this world, we are being transformed by the renewing of our mind.

Psalm 95:1-2 (and 3-7 for that matter) is a great example of this type of adoration for God: “Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.” Sometimes we need to take ourselves out of theology, and just WORSHIP GOD.

We need to just bring it to it’s simplest level.

To just say “God. I love you. You are the reason for my existence. You are the way, the truth, and the life.”

By Collin | Also posted in Theology | Comments (1)

A Few Thoughts on Worship

The last month or so at church, my pastor has asked me to give some mini-teachings on corporate worship. It has been happening in the midst of our worship set, usually after the first song. It’s been a really awesome, freeing, confidence-building experience for me. I was talking to Israel earlier, and he said I should share some of this stuff on here. So instead of paring it down, I decided to post all of my original, stream-of-consciousness thoughts on the subject. All of these thoughts become the basis for what I speak about. They are rough, mind you, and many parts are written as if I am speaking in front of the church.

Some Thoughts

Romans 12:2 says “do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

To me this a good example of why we worship: to be transformed. In worshipping we enter, as Richard Foster says, the Shekinah of God. The here-and-now presence of God. Well, not that His presence is ever NOT here-and-now, its just kind of “tuning our dial to the signal.” It’s really getting in touch with what God is doing HERE and NOW, in us, in others, for us, and for others.

It’s also us blessing God, ministering to the Father. Not just thanking him for what he has done, but really contemplating who He is. Really glorifying who He is. And then soaking in that glory.

We can worship without singing. We can worship without physically laying on our faces in prostrate. Or without kneeling. Or without bowing our heads. Or without lifting our hands. These are all wonderful practices, and I would definitely encourage all of them, but worship is more than this. It is a mindset, and more than a mindset, a heart posture. The heart posture that says “this isn’t about me, it’s about God.”

In a church setting, it’s so easy to get caught up in looking around the room and seeing what everyone else is doing. It’s so easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment, and do just that: be emotional. To think to yourself, “oh, well people are lifting their hands, I probably should.” Or to look around and feel like you are missing something because you aren’t singing. Or to say “I like it better when the other worship team sings this song.” These are just a few examples, and I think there are a million reasons that we can get wrapped up in the emotional side of worship. That’s not the important part. The important part is knowing God wants to meet us where we are.

Imagine how awesome it would be on Sunday morning, as we are all standing there in with our different mindsets and heart postures, some singing, some dancing, some kneeling, some sitting, some just standing there, and then just turning our hearts toward God. Just knowing that in that midst, if we would open a worshipful heart toward God, that HE knows where we are, and how we are worshipping him. If we all tried to do this, I wonder how much it would matter if the person next to us was singing or not? I wonder how much it would matter if my wife was lifting her hands, and I wasn’t. I wonder how much it would matter if I saw 10 people dancing up front, and I’m sitting down in the back row.

It wouldn’t.

God would be so glorified in that place. God would meet us here. We would be in tune with his Shekinah. We would blow the roof off.

Thoughts, Week 2

Richard Foster says “worship begins with holy expectancy, it ends with holy obedience.” I can wrap my head around coming to worship with some sort of expectation for God to do SOMETHING, but I never really pondered “holy” expectancy.

The difference I see between expectation and HOLY expectation, again, all boils down to heart posture.

Our worldly expectation in worship would be something along the lines of “God, I am coming to worship expecting you to make me feel better about myself.” The danger in this attitude is obvious: it turns worship into this very self-centered thing, and the end result is nothing more than a “warm and fuzzy” feeling. Last week I was talking about worship as an emotional experience, and how it really does nothing for us in the end other than us feeling something. Don’t get me wrong, feeling something is great. To a lot of us, feeling is just what we need. Physically knowing God is there. Feeling God’s touch, warmth, presence. But I really think that God wants us to experience so much more than that.

So what is holy expectation then? I think it’s the opposite of worldly or humanly expectation. Instead of saying “God I want you to make feel better about myself,” it’s saying “God, I am coming to worship to step into your presence. I am coming to worship to sit at your feet and listen. I am expecting to come out of this experience with a better understanding of your heart for me, as well as others. I am expecting to hear your voice clearly. I am expecting to be able to listen to you.” And on and on.

Do you see how much more we would get out of a worship experience like this? With an expectant heart that isn’t expecting anything more than a good feeling, we miss SO much of what God might want to do in us, or what God might want us to do! In the midst of worship, God might want us to look at a certain sin in our life. He might want to show us more about His plan for our lives. He might put someone in the room on our hearts to pray for, or just to walk over and give a hug.

Sometimes, after worshipping with this holy expectation, we might have a warm and fuzzy feeling. Sometimes we won’t. Sometimes we might feel uneasy. Sometimes we might feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we might feel nervous. But in really expecting God’s presence, and really being in it, the one thing we will feel is that God is there. God is in the midst of whatever feeling that we are having, and the focus is no longer on how I want to feel this or that, but now is on the fact that somehow, the way I am feeling has something to with what God is doing.

And that’s a good feeling.

Thoughts, Week 3

So if Richard Foster says “worship begins with holy expectancy, it ends with holy obedience,” what is holy obedience?

Holy obedience. Sounds heavy.

Honestly, the first thing that comes to my mind if I were to think of the words “holy” and “obedience” is some selfish idea that God is going to tell me to do something that sucks. And then I’m going to feel a bunch of guilt for not wanting to do it. That or some sort of obligation.

But I think holy obedience, especially in worship, is something totally different than that. I really think it is just the outcome of us being able to listen to God’s heart. And I think if we approach God’s presence with holy expectancy, then the idea that God would have something for us to do or at least think of doing would be less “man, I really don’t want to do that, but I guess I should,” and more “I NEED to do this. I know that something will release and I will be more free because of this.”

So what is this “thing” that God’s going to tell me to do? I don’t know. It could be a ton of different things. Some examples I can think of might be God really opening my eyes to a certain sin in my life that is really holding me back from experiencing His Kingdom. It might be God saying “Go dance. Right now. You don’t know how much release you, as well as others, will feel because of it, right here, right now.” Maybe it’s God just saying “I know you think church music sucks, but just sing. Sing to me, like I’m the only one in the room with you.” Maybe it’s an itch to talk to someone about joining the worship team, and it was just that little push from God that you needed. Maybe it’s God saying “that new person over there looks like she really needs a shoulder to cry on right now. Go pray for her.” I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

We see so much freedom from really following God’s heart. God knows and always wants what’s best for us. Holy obedience is really just letting go of ourselves. In worship, holy obedience is really letting go of our preconceived notions of what we think worship should be. With holy obedience, we realize that we don’t worship to feel good. We worship to know the Father. We worship to harbor a deep connection to Jesus. We worship to really experience the power of the Holy Spirit. We worship to take ourselves out of the picture.

We worship to not be “conformed to the pattern of this world.” We worship to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds.” We worship so that we may “discern the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Thoughts, Week 4

One thing that’s awesome about worship is that it puts us all on the same page. It’s bringing to the forefront the one thing that’s the most important: our relationship with God. If worship is all about reflecting, meditating, praising, exalting, or just sitting in the midst of God’s glory, then where is room for any of our worldly things? There really isn’t!

This is one thing that I find really awesome about worship. There are so many different theologies, so many different sociopolitical ideologies, just so many different people in this room. Some of us spend a lot of our lives focused on these things, focused on our differences. But worship takes us out of that focus. Worship kind of levels the playing field. In being united in worship, we move from focusing on our differences, to celebrating them, knowing that we are still all focused on one thing: the Kingdom.

I read something very eloquent this week: “there is always a moment in our singing when a leading voice drops away and together we find a collective voice. It never fails, and somehow in that moment everyone is leading and no one is leading. This is the kind of thing that happens when a group of people start tapping into the reality and mystery of a God who is ‘one’. We begin to become one ourselves. The shared experience of singing together is a deeply subversive, counter-cultural act of mutual submission.”*

That’s what’s awesome about worship. In worship, our natural inclination is to come together. In worship, we come to realize what Ephesians 4:4-6 says, “there is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called—one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” We start to throw down our judgements towards one another’s belief systems. We start to focus on who God is, and how much we can let our various theologies and ideas get in the way of who He is and what He wants to do. We open our hearts up to listen to God and follow him, unified with our brothers and sisters. Worship clears our mind of all the “Christian stuff” that we can tend to cloud it with, and opens our minds, together, to the true heart of God.

* http://www.marshill.org/userfiles/Why%20To%20Sing.pdf

By Collin | Also posted in Theology | Comments (0)

Like a ton of bricks.

I don’t know anything about Simone Weil (other than what I just read about her on Wikipedia), but holy crap is this good:

“Christ likes us to prefer truth to himself, because before being Christ, he is truth. If one turns aside from him to go towards the truth, one will not go far before falling into his arms.”

That is all.

By Collin | Also posted in Theology, WTF | Comments (0)

Fair and Fair alike

I Might Be Wrong 12/19/08

Luke 15:11-32

The Parable of the Prodigal son is one of the most celebrated parables Jesus ever told and with good reason. It is simply a story of grace and unconditional love. 

For most of us the focus is on the main character having thrown his fathers fortune away and come back crawling and given a second chance at life. As I read and study it again, my focus was diverted not to the prodigal, but to the other son. I have waited patiently, I have stuck around even when I doubted, I have devoted my life to You and You let my kid brother who takes and takes and takes and takes back into our house to squander more. Does this make sense?

I say no, it does not.

I believe passionately that the Lord calls us to be fair and just with our fellow man. I also believe that those few that believe this is an absolute commandment also don’t follow it absolutely. We pick and choose who we want to treat just and fairly, instead of the unconditional love our father has presented as an example. I see this in every area of my life, from who I’m nice to at work to who gets a wave of forgiveness when a traffic mistake happens and who gets a finger.

So, I write all of this without a direct point or moral of the story besides the idea that maybe we are eager for damnation of others (thanks for the phrasing, Jay Baker). What about us inclines us to think that we deserve so much more than this spoiled kid? This is a story that takes the ideas that you get what you pay for and totally flips it on it’s head. If I work for 8 hours at my job and only get paid for 6, you bet your ass I’m going to file some kind of complaint, because it’s fair. It’s also fair that the older son in the story gets the house to him self and he can keep his action figure collection in his brothers room.

What the son deserves is to be expelled and sent on his way. What he gets is the royal treatment, even more so than the one that never left. That’s challenging. Of course were supposed to be happy he came back and it’s a happy ending and all’s well that ends well, but is that just? Thank God, it’s not. I have deflowered the sacred commandment of God by my judgement of my brother alone, let alone that time I watched a dirty movie online (only once, I swear). 

blahblahblahblahblah

I want to lose this idea of entitlement. I want to lose this idea of ‘but I did this’ or ‘I never left’ (in my best Veruca Salt impression) and get to the place where I can be comfortable in knowing that it’s not my call to make. It’s not up to me, it’s in my father’s hands and forever will be. I hope the Lord gives me strength to rejoice as He does when things aren’t fair and reconciliation is found is the arms of a loving father. May I be a brother of forgiveness and joy to celebrate the Good ‘and not always fair’ news.

~wrestleswithGod

By wrestleswithGod | Also posted in Theology | Comments (7)