Don’t get me wrong, I love reason. I love logic. I love science. I absolutely love reading and learning. As a kid, I used to read encyclopedias for fun. And now, I still find myself getting sucked into 45-minute Wikipedia binges.

But the adverse of that, my faith is strong. My faith is real. I have had some real, unexplainable-by-reason-or-logic experiences with the Most High. I have seen the Father work in ways in my life that just can’t be explained by conventional ideas or coincidence. And to me, that’s alright.

The balance has been off lately. I’ve been deconstructing my faith for no other reason than deconstructing it. I’ve been pursuing knowledge far above the equally as (if not more) important experience.

Through prayer and listening, I feel like God has shown me tons of grace for this deconstruction, but He has given me a better blueprint for it.

I’m calling it “constructive deconstruction.”

My brother Evan is a bike mechanic. A damn good one, at that. I was thinking the other day about how he learned so much about bikes and how they work. He learned about them the same way other boys learn about mechanics and electronics and things: taking them apart. Deconstruction, not for the sake of breaking something, but for the sake of learning more about it, and possibly even improving on it. What are the core parts? How do they function? What is their purpose? What can I remove without losing that function or purpose?

I’m sure you can see where I’m going here. We can strip our faith down to it’s very core, learn more about what we really believe, and maybe improve on it by adding a little logic and reason to it all.

What does every bike have? A frame, a chain, pedals, handlebars, a seat, and wheels. Other things such as multiple gears, brakes, reflectors, water bottle holders, and splash guards definitely are good things. They serve their purpose. But they aren’t necessary to the function of the bike, right?

As a Christian, I have my orthodoxy. I have my Apostles’ and Nicene creeds. I have the very core, functional things of my faith: a triune creator-God, authority of Scriptures, salvation by grace through the resurrection of Jesus, a promise of hope and peace for the future, a community of brothers and sisters to stand with—you get the point. I can add other theologies and doctrines and lifestyle choices and other things on top of this that are all good and purposeful, but not essential. Just like a bike, we always benefit from learning more about it’s function and removing the unneeded things, to make our ride as light and efficient as possible. Not saying it’s easy—you will know what I mean if you’ve ever taken a fixed-gear bike for a ride.

I’ll take the analogy one step farther, which is God, through his grace, meeting us where we are at. My brother has a room full of bike parts: frames, wheels, gears, handlebars, shocks, and the like. He can custom-build a multitude of bikes for any occasion, any terrain. If he is going to be riding in the mountains or in the woods, he’ll throw some extra gears on, use a stronger frame, and use fat, knobby tires. If he’s going to be tooling around the city, chances are he’ll have nothing but thin road tires and a single, fixed gear. The bike is different, but it still has the same core parts, and still serves the same purpose: riding. Some people need certain types of theology, certain types of doctrine, certain takes on the Gospel in order to really “get” it. Some people need nothing more than the basics. Some people need some bells and whistles to help them move forward. But at it’s core, there’s still only one unchanging Gospel. One Gospel that serves one purpose.

For me, adding knowledge helps me find the beauty in the Gospel. I am constantly learning. Learning new stuff about the history of the Bible, the historical Jesus, the different cultures that the scriptures were written in—sometimes taking it to the point of questioning some core elements of my faith. But when I step back and look at it, I think to myself: “I know that I still need that wheel. I know I still need those handlebars.” That’s what keeps me pressing on towards Jesus. I know that He is real, and I still believe in the core doctrines and purpose of this faith I hold so dearly.

Lately, the scale has been tipped too far in the knowledge direction. I don’t want to become a gnostic. I don’t want to make knowledge my god, I want knowledge to compliment my God.  Sometimes I just need to remember what’s important.

Sometimes I need to replace the inner-tube on the tire to keep it inflated.

Sometimes I need to grease the chain up to keep the ride smooth.

And I thank God everyday for keeping me on the bike.

⁶So when they had come together, they were asking Him, saying, “Lord, is it at this time You are restoring the kingdom to Israel?” ⁷He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or epochs which the Father has fixed by His own authority; ⁸but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.”

The thing that popped out to me as I read it this time is the question before the verse 8 bomb. “is it at this time you are restoring the kingdom to Israel”. They were asking a very specific question regarding their own desires, probably to be out from the rule of the Romans. Jesus comes back and says ‘none of your business guys, BUT you’re going to be a part of this restoration you asked about through the power the Holy Spirit and the world will see it’.

With new perspective comes new understanding.

I see this as less of a ‘go, tell everyone you know about Jesus’ and more of an invitation and foretelling of the world they were about to change by ushering in the Kingdom of heaven to earth, not the other way around. In our culture there seems to be a lot of emphasis on spreading the good news to get people to heaven while leaving the earth in a trash heap which I obviously think is the infection of our society on the Gospel. That’s not to say that we are not to evangelize, but as the last thing Jesus said on earth I think it’s important to realize we are part of His kingdom and our world just happens to be the playing field. We are to be witnesses, but through the different lenses.

~Israel

“Well, is it rooted in the Word?”

“Well, I’m not sure he is using the proper hermeneutic.”

“I don’t think her interpretation is a biblical one.”

I hear and read these phrases a lot. Maybe it’s just the people, blogs, and other reading/discussions I surround myself with. Maybe I’m just looking for it (probably this one). Regardless, it’s definitely a hot-button issue this day and age in Christendom. Usually along the left-right divide. Or the traditional-emerging divide. Or the Collin-and-his-other-Christian-friends divide. My question is why is it an issue?

This idea that I’ve got it pinned, I know what God REALLY meant. The fact that it starts to become “dangerous stuff” or “heretical” when we start to question the cultural norm of scriptural interpretation. This doesn’t sit well with me.

Why is it dangerous? Honestly, all the arguing and debating seems to be more dangerous to me. That seems to be the “unbiblical” part. Galatians 5:15 says “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” We aren’t going to move the Kingdom forward if we are sitting here bickering over who knows it best.

Generally, no matter what “team” you are on, what side you take, 99% of Christians agree that Jesus is the Son of God, and was crucified in our place, and that we take part in the graceful story of God through His resurrection. That we are “saved by grace, through faith.” And that there is no separation anymore between us and the Father. And that the Jesus way of abundant life is THE way of life. That’s the Gospel. And that’s some good news!

So my question is, if that story, that story of resurrection life is central to our view of the scriptures, are we really misinterpreting anything? Yeah we can argue about our views on whatever doctrine, but what does that REALLY matter at all when it comes down to it?

Yeah, I know, that’s the dangerous part. That’s where excusing sin comes in. That’s where we tell ourselves what our “itching ears” want to hear. And that’s where I start to struggle with this whole idea. But one thing I do believe is that the closer we are to Jesus, the closer we dig into His story, the more we follow in His ways, the easier it is for us to hear the conviction of the Holy Spirit. So, say my interpretation of some subject is wrong in God’s eyes. Well, even if that’s where I started, the closer I get to Jesus, the more open I will be to listening to the Holy Spirit’s correction.

But hey, I could be wrong, and I’m OK with that. We are just humans reading a book. Everything else is just Grace.

Today, we are done.

I have been reflecting on the last six weeks, and the absolute outpouring of blessing on our family. It’s been really easy to take it for granted, until looking back and seeing all of it. From friends and family coming and doing tile in the bathroom, doing the floors in the kitchen and bathroom, painting with us, cleaning, looking at our furnace, to financial blessings here and there (and without this, Christmas probably wouldn’t have happened this year), and even as simple as just being with us, spending time with us, and praying for us. It’s crazy and beautiful to see what a community of people will do for one another. Especially a community deeply rooted in a love for Christ.

As I was reflecting on this yesterday, a piece of scripture popped into my mind:

“For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” – Matthew 18:20

Everything in me starts screaming “out of context!” Which is true. Using that scripture in this specific context does go against pretty much every part of my personal hermeneutic. But I also do believe that the the Word is a Living Word, and in this case, I really do think that there is something to this scripture as it relates to this situation.

In context, the verse is one of many talking about interpersonal relationships. We often use this verse to talk about God’s presence in our worship and fellowship gatherings, which personally I think is kind of a weak interpretation, but it kind of works in a feel-good way. The context is all talking about how relate to one another, especially in confronting one another and dealing with sin amongst our community.  But in that context of interpersonal relationships, I think it kind of works here.

I think it speaks a lot to a community of believers. We are made to be in community with one another. We are created in the image of a triune God, a God that eternally lives in community. Here we are, friends and family firmly rooted in Christ, and one family is in need, and literally EVERYONE steps up in their own ways and using their own gifts. In this type of community relationship, I find it impossible to NOT see God’s hand or feel His presence in it. I can’t take a step without bumping into Him somehow. It’s a beautiful thing, and I hope to keep experiencing it more and more, and give back in the same way that I’ve been given such blessing.

So, if you are reading this and you have directly been a part of our process over the last six weeks, thanks. We truly are “two or three” (which I think is just a way of saying people together) gathered in His name. And He is undeniably in our midst.

We’ve mostly been sitting in Hebrews 3:13: “encourage each other daily.” We’ve been talking a lot about gossip, a lot about idle talk, and a lot about just building each other up rather than the opposite. This has all been meaningful and awesome, and I know that many of us in our community have continued to talk about it and keep each other accountable in playing it out in our own lives, but I think there are a couple more applications of this encouragement idea outside of our typical viewpoint.

One of them is rebuke. Ugh, rebuke. REBUKE. What a scary old word. Truthfully, I hate the word. A lot. Hearing it generally makes me cringe. I don’t hate it because of its meaning. I hate it because of its stigma. I think to myself “why do we continue to use this word that really only makes a ton of sense to us Christians? Especially one that is so scary-sounding? Isn’t there a better word we can use instead?”

Oh yeah, encouragement.

Isn’t that really all it is? Or at least all it should be? In my opinion, a rebuke should never come out of any emotion other than joy. Joy that you know you are showing someone that there is a better way. A better way with abundant life. A rebuke should be an encouragement to the person, an encouragement to turn around and look at the life they are missing because of whatever sin or attitude they are steeped in. A rebuke should never discourage someone. It should never leave the person feeling guilty. It should be an encouragement full of GRACE. Isn’t that how our Father does it?

This kind of leads to the other application I was talking about: evangelism.

How differently do you think this world would look at us Christians if our evangelism was nothing more than graceful encouragement? The same as I was talking before—an encouragement to open their eyes and see the abundant life they are missing.

What if the street preacher, instead of pointing out someone and telling them they are doomed, decided to gracefully let them know that there is a better way to live? A way of life that is full of abundance? I think we would start to see more and more true repentance, and less and less hate for the Gospel. It’s not forsaking the truth, it’s just taking the focus off of death, and moving it onto life.

So, I say lets keep—or start—encouraging. Lets start showing people that there’s more to LIFE than this.

Throughout the course of the weekend, I was continually reflecting on these lyrics from the song “Circles” by Thrice:

“True progress means changing the world to the vision in our heads, but we always change the vision instead.”

Just typing them out sends chills down my spine. I haven’t read lyrics in quite some time that ring not only so universally true, but incredibly true to me. How many times and in how many places in my life did I have some great vision—some great idea or passion—that over time just kind of fell by the wayside, or that I just dumbed down to the point of punching the clock?

I know I’ve been called to great works. We all have. It’s just up to us to see them through. I know that I’d love to have my hand held and pulled along, knowing when to do this or that, knowing exactly how my passion and vision gets played out. But where’s the fun in that? And where’s the challenge?

So when it comes to the vision that you have, the idea you have (that one that deep down you know is great), the passion you have, I have one challenge:

What are you waiting for?

Let’s stop compromising the ABUNDANT LIFE promised to us just to stay comfortable.

But Monday, I was filled with disgust. “Man, he really crossed the line this time,” I said to myself, “what a 3rd grader.” Obama may have said it best—what a jackass.

Of course he apologized in all-caps on his blog. Of course I didn’t really believe it. Oh well. Until next time, Kanye. Later that night, I saw him on the new Jay Leno show. I saw the shameful look in his eye as Jay probed him on his thought process, and worse, what his mom would have thought if she had still been alive. Instantly I was filled with…compassion? Compassion for this 3rd grader? Grace for this jackass?

“I’ll take that,” I found myself saying aloud to my wife.

God’s grace just dawned on me. For the 23,543,589,432th time. I couldn’t stop thinking about it the entire next day. I tend to forget about this kind of grace. This kind of grace that knows that someone will probably screw up again, probably apologize again, and repeat the whole process. This kind of grace that knows that the slate is wiped clean every time. Who’s to say that, just because Kanye West is a multi-millionaire rockstar producer, he is incapable of experiencing grace and forgiveness from not only me, but from the Father as well? I’m hoping this time Kanye sees it and runs after it. Even if he doesn’t, it’ll still be there next time.

I know this all seems kind of silly and over-played, but it’s just something I’ve been reflecting on the last couple of days. It’s nice to be reminded of the simple things that got me here in the first place.

Thoughts, Week 5

I find that it’s easy to really over-theologize worship. I have been talking about all these different facets of worship—sitting in God’s presence, expectation, obedience, one-ness—which are definitely all valid, but sometimes we need to just get down to the basics. Worship is definitely all these things. Worship is more than all these things as well. I could probably talk for weeks about all the different parts and effects of worship. But what is worship—real worship—at it’s core?

It’s worshipping God.

Sounds condescending to say it like that, but that’s really what it is. Its beholding God’s glory, exalting his name, magnifying who he is above all. It’s boldly declaring who God is. It’s laying down all the things we make God into, and all of the other theological stuff, and really just declaring what we know about God.

It’s declaring to God that we know He is our refuge. That He is sovereign. That He knows what He is doing. That we put our lives, and our wills in His hands. It’s taking ourselves out of the equation, and making sure that we put God on the throne. Recognizing our place in the hierarchy. This truth-speaking not only builts our faith, but ushers in a complete transformation of our hearts and minds. In God-centered worship (which is what it should ALWAYS be, shouldn’t it?), we stop focusing on ourselves, what song we are singing, what prayer we are praying, whatever we are doing and just put ALL the focus on God. And in doing that, we are dying to ourselves. We are letting God transform us into His people. We are no longer being conformed to the pattern of this world, we are being transformed by the renewing of our mind.

Psalm 95:1-2 (and 3-7 for that matter) is a great example of this type of adoration for God: “Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.” Sometimes we need to take ourselves out of theology, and just WORSHIP GOD.

We need to just bring it to it’s simplest level.

To just say “God. I love you. You are the reason for my existence. You are the way, the truth, and the life.”

Some Thoughts

Romans 12:2 says “do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

To me this a good example of why we worship: to be transformed. In worshipping we enter, as Richard Foster says, the Shekinah of God. The here-and-now presence of God. Well, not that His presence is ever NOT here-and-now, its just kind of “tuning our dial to the signal.” It’s really getting in touch with what God is doing HERE and NOW, in us, in others, for us, and for others.

It’s also us blessing God, ministering to the Father. Not just thanking him for what he has done, but really contemplating who He is. Really glorifying who He is. And then soaking in that glory.

We can worship without singing. We can worship without physically laying on our faces in prostrate. Or without kneeling. Or without bowing our heads. Or without lifting our hands. These are all wonderful practices, and I would definitely encourage all of them, but worship is more than this. It is a mindset, and more than a mindset, a heart posture. The heart posture that says “this isn’t about me, it’s about God.”

In a church setting, it’s so easy to get caught up in looking around the room and seeing what everyone else is doing. It’s so easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment, and do just that: be emotional. To think to yourself, “oh, well people are lifting their hands, I probably should.” Or to look around and feel like you are missing something because you aren’t singing. Or to say “I like it better when the other worship team sings this song.” These are just a few examples, and I think there are a million reasons that we can get wrapped up in the emotional side of worship. That’s not the important part. The important part is knowing God wants to meet us where we are.

Imagine how awesome it would be on Sunday morning, as we are all standing there in with our different mindsets and heart postures, some singing, some dancing, some kneeling, some sitting, some just standing there, and then just turning our hearts toward God. Just knowing that in that midst, if we would open a worshipful heart toward God, that HE knows where we are, and how we are worshipping him. If we all tried to do this, I wonder how much it would matter if the person next to us was singing or not? I wonder how much it would matter if my wife was lifting her hands, and I wasn’t. I wonder how much it would matter if I saw 10 people dancing up front, and I’m sitting down in the back row.

It wouldn’t.

God would be so glorified in that place. God would meet us here. We would be in tune with his Shekinah. We would blow the roof off.

Thoughts, Week 2

Richard Foster says “worship begins with holy expectancy, it ends with holy obedience.” I can wrap my head around coming to worship with some sort of expectation for God to do SOMETHING, but I never really pondered “holy” expectancy.

The difference I see between expectation and HOLY expectation, again, all boils down to heart posture.

Our worldly expectation in worship would be something along the lines of “God, I am coming to worship expecting you to make me feel better about myself.” The danger in this attitude is obvious: it turns worship into this very self-centered thing, and the end result is nothing more than a “warm and fuzzy” feeling. Last week I was talking about worship as an emotional experience, and how it really does nothing for us in the end other than us feeling something. Don’t get me wrong, feeling something is great. To a lot of us, feeling is just what we need. Physically knowing God is there. Feeling God’s touch, warmth, presence. But I really think that God wants us to experience so much more than that.

So what is holy expectation then? I think it’s the opposite of worldly or humanly expectation. Instead of saying “God I want you to make feel better about myself,” it’s saying “God, I am coming to worship to step into your presence. I am coming to worship to sit at your feet and listen. I am expecting to come out of this experience with a better understanding of your heart for me, as well as others. I am expecting to hear your voice clearly. I am expecting to be able to listen to you.” And on and on.

Do you see how much more we would get out of a worship experience like this? With an expectant heart that isn’t expecting anything more than a good feeling, we miss SO much of what God might want to do in us, or what God might want us to do! In the midst of worship, God might want us to look at a certain sin in our life. He might want to show us more about His plan for our lives. He might put someone in the room on our hearts to pray for, or just to walk over and give a hug.

Sometimes, after worshipping with this holy expectation, we might have a warm and fuzzy feeling. Sometimes we won’t. Sometimes we might feel uneasy. Sometimes we might feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we might feel nervous. But in really expecting God’s presence, and really being in it, the one thing we will feel is that God is there. God is in the midst of whatever feeling that we are having, and the focus is no longer on how I want to feel this or that, but now is on the fact that somehow, the way I am feeling has something to with what God is doing.

And that’s a good feeling.

Thoughts, Week 3

So if Richard Foster says “worship begins with holy expectancy, it ends with holy obedience,” what is holy obedience?

Holy obedience. Sounds heavy.

Honestly, the first thing that comes to my mind if I were to think of the words “holy” and “obedience” is some selfish idea that God is going to tell me to do something that sucks. And then I’m going to feel a bunch of guilt for not wanting to do it. That or some sort of obligation.

But I think holy obedience, especially in worship, is something totally different than that. I really think it is just the outcome of us being able to listen to God’s heart. And I think if we approach God’s presence with holy expectancy, then the idea that God would have something for us to do or at least think of doing would be less “man, I really don’t want to do that, but I guess I should,” and more “I NEED to do this. I know that something will release and I will be more free because of this.”

So what is this “thing” that God’s going to tell me to do? I don’t know. It could be a ton of different things. Some examples I can think of might be God really opening my eyes to a certain sin in my life that is really holding me back from experiencing His Kingdom. It might be God saying “Go dance. Right now. You don’t know how much release you, as well as others, will feel because of it, right here, right now.” Maybe it’s God just saying “I know you think church music sucks, but just sing. Sing to me, like I’m the only one in the room with you.” Maybe it’s an itch to talk to someone about joining the worship team, and it was just that little push from God that you needed. Maybe it’s God saying “that new person over there looks like she really needs a shoulder to cry on right now. Go pray for her.” I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

We see so much freedom from really following God’s heart. God knows and always wants what’s best for us. Holy obedience is really just letting go of ourselves. In worship, holy obedience is really letting go of our preconceived notions of what we think worship should be. With holy obedience, we realize that we don’t worship to feel good. We worship to know the Father. We worship to harbor a deep connection to Jesus. We worship to really experience the power of the Holy Spirit. We worship to take ourselves out of the picture.

We worship to not be “conformed to the pattern of this world.” We worship to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds.” We worship so that we may “discern the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Thoughts, Week 4

One thing that’s awesome about worship is that it puts us all on the same page. It’s bringing to the forefront the one thing that’s the most important: our relationship with God. If worship is all about reflecting, meditating, praising, exalting, or just sitting in the midst of God’s glory, then where is room for any of our worldly things? There really isn’t!

This is one thing that I find really awesome about worship. There are so many different theologies, so many different sociopolitical ideologies, just so many different people in this room. Some of us spend a lot of our lives focused on these things, focused on our differences. But worship takes us out of that focus. Worship kind of levels the playing field. In being united in worship, we move from focusing on our differences, to celebrating them, knowing that we are still all focused on one thing: the Kingdom.

I read something very eloquent this week: “there is always a moment in our singing when a leading voice drops away and together we find a collective voice. It never fails, and somehow in that moment everyone is leading and no one is leading. This is the kind of thing that happens when a group of people start tapping into the reality and mystery of a God who is ‘one’. We begin to become one ourselves. The shared experience of singing together is a deeply subversive, counter-cultural act of mutual submission.”*

That’s what’s awesome about worship. In worship, our natural inclination is to come together. In worship, we come to realize what Ephesians 4:4-6 says, “there is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called—one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” We start to throw down our judgements towards one another’s belief systems. We start to focus on who God is, and how much we can let our various theologies and ideas get in the way of who He is and what He wants to do. We open our hearts up to listen to God and follow him, unified with our brothers and sisters. Worship clears our mind of all the “Christian stuff” that we can tend to cloud it with, and opens our minds, together, to the true heart of God.

* http://www.marshill.org/userfiles/Why%20To%20Sing.pdf